she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize