If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
