would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
