i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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