So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
