dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
no you cant smoke seaweed
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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