after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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