HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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