You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
