Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I will be naked everywhere
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
