forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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