He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
