I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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