he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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