I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
