Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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