Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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