My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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