I just pynch a tree in the face
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
