Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
