can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I feel great
I just peed on a car
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Mom said you looked used
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize