u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
