I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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