he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
