you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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