On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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