He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
