RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
