3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I touched a dick in church today
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize