Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude i'm inner monologue high
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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