I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
