He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
