when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
