My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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