I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
