WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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