I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
