ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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