We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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