My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
