He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
