would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize