I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
