Do you still have your period?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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