yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
