i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
