if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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