You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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