I need help removing her.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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