I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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