I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
