Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
