we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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