Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
