Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
