Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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