But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
