come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
