All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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