Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
