Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
