It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm really busy with my period
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