My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
